All Masters Start With Disaster @ PGP

I would like to sum up of what i have learnt and gained from today's coaching session. It goes really deeper inside my inner self and dig all the problems and struggles that I have encountered in my life. I found it really useful and I think I should give a serious thought about how am I going to live for the rest of my life. Today, we talked about a specific struggle, which I have faced it for the past few years. I am the person who really cant tolerate noise. I am very sensitive to noise and it will easily keep me distracted away from my focus. I tend to listen to their conversation and get into it. We discussed and I found out that it was still due to my arrogant personality. Just that I think my ego is under threat, I do not want to feel weak, being bully or being a lose side, that's why I felt very uncomfortable when something out of my control. I always think that we should fight for our rights and confront with people who are wrong, it makes me feel better because I like the winning feel when I confront with someone that I think I am right in some way and he/she agree with me. However, most of the time, I tend to resist this struggle because I do not want to look bad in front of the people, so I try to tolerate most of the time, until it reaches a point where I cannot endure anymore. The feeling of keeping everything inside me is unbearable. I felt very down, sad and even de-moralising. Then, I just felt very upset and cant concentrate on studies anymore. However, I was told by my coach that it' because I still do not know how to handle my feeling well. If i am mastering of handling my feeling, I can be sad/down, in the same time produce a quality work. That's sound pretty tough job to me, and indeed it requires lots of practise and I firmly believe it. If I can master my feeling, then I will move to another stage in my life, which is unknown now and more importantly, I will lead my life in a happier way. Therefore, now I try to feel happy whenever I feel sad. I know it sounds ridiculous but it seems it is the only way now to help me to handle my feeling. Enjoying your struggle, accepting it instead of resisiting it and it will come to a point where I can grow out of this struggle. The coach gave me a good example:) I am just a baby of learning how to tie my shoelace. It will be a process to make me become the master as it required lots of practise to achieve it. I CAN GROW OUT of this struggle as long as I'm enjoying it. Besides this, he pinched my hand, at first I actually feel abit fired up, but the second time, he asked me to enjoy of being pinched by him, it turned out to be less angry than before. It's strange on how feeling can change in an instant. Moreover, he furthers gave me examples, if you're able to handle your feeling, you will be more clear-headed and you will not act reckless things in impulse. It suddenly reminds me on the accident that I encoutered with my mum when I was in sec 5. I thought it's the person's fault of knocking my mum's car. I did not think for a second and straighaway confronted and even insulted him. When I realised it is actually my mum's fault, felt really guilty and I know I did the wrong thing and it's all due to impulsive reaction. If I can handle my feeling well, the words that come out from my mouth could be different.

When someone talk loudly in lecture, enjoy of being irritated.
When my neighbour makes noise in room, enjoy of being frustrated.
When I am feeling upset or down, enjoy of being at that state.
When I am feeling weak, enjoy of that feeling because I must know that I am not weak all the time.

All these are just your feeling and it makes you 'human'. I can be master to handle it. It is just up to me of how I look at thing in what perspectives. Life is short, if I am keep frustrating, upset, down and de-moralise and it would be pathatic and my life just is just totally screw up.

I AM MYSELF and I handle my feeling !!!