Tuesday, October 6, 2009

In what areas that I behave arrogant??? @ PGP

I think it would be especially true when it applies to studies. I always think that I will know and understand everything in the end but in fact i kinda lost when it comes to the end:) Maybe i am too arrogant that i'm sure will find my resource to solve my problem. I always knew what is my target, and the amount of effort that i spend will be just enough to achieve my goal. I always underestimate the lecture, lab, and especially tutorial. What i do is just listening to the tutor, copy down the answer, and go back to figure out by myself or asking around. Maybe I was highflying in poly, and indirectly cause the situation to become this way.

Arrogant and confidence is just a thin line within. A person can be confidence but humble. I maybe too arrogant in my studies. Is it really my fault? i dont know. I always thought that i am smart, hmm street-smart, not easily letting people to take advantage on me. However, what is the meaning of arrogant anyway??? i try to google it and it states that

1) Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
2) Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one's superiority toward others

Hmm, it fits my personality. I always think that i am important. I even used to think that one day the earth might stop because of me. Always placing myself among others, always think that i can achieve big career one day, always think that my self-worth is priceless, always think highly abt myself. Besides this, sometimes i do feel some superiority toward others coz i used to think that i graduated from a low standard primary and secondary education system and i managed to climb all the way to one of the most 'respective' university, and i think it is something that i very proud of. Moreover, the good result that i obtained in poly further instills my arrogancy and i tend to look down on people inside my heart sometimes. And seriously, i do felt guilty and shame about myself too when i did that. Then, my mind will tell me able to speak english and study in a good uni doesn't necessary guarantee you a fortune in future. It is just a key, a key to unlock the potential for the future. There are still alot of peopl out there, who cant speak english, drop out from uni but they are still able to make it in their own way. Therefore, my consciousness will tell my arrogancy that it is wrong to discriminate or look down on people that you 'think' you are superior than them. So thats why it's a battle again between my mind and heart.

Now, i do know that i am arrogant but i will try to keep myself low...

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